So much resonance Josie. I found myself asking these exact same questions after resisting, fighting, trying to fix a neurological disorder for years. Finally, exhausted, i gave up and asked what it might be like to live unfixed. I could spend years talking to you about this process, the deep unraveling of everything we’ve been told about how to “live well.”
If you have fifteen minutes to fall into the stories of others living with chronic illness, you might want to watch this episode in particular in the Unfixed doc-series. Within the same vein of questioning as your What If, but they explore it within the binary choice of either being healthy but losing all the lessons gained from illness, or choosing the life they’re living now?
Thank you so much for the link, Kimberly! It is a challenging (and exciting!) thing to explore. I want to keep working with the idea of "how can I help my body to feel as good as possible" rather than "how can I fix myself." It feels like a much better compass but yes, it really does mean unravelling a lot of society's ideas around wellness and worth. I so appreciate you being here on this journey with me.
So happy to follow along. I also wrote you a DM a week or so ago about an ME/CFS : Long Covid project, thought you might be interested. And if not, totally fine! We’re in the process of building a community of individuals to create something beautiful together and your willingness to hold hands with both the light and the dark of chronic illness made me think this could be an interesting creative exploration for you.
Powerful writing, Josie. Your strength and resilience is so instructive to me, and many others. Thank you for your courage. Thank you for your vulnerability. Thank you for sharing this journey with me in a way that allows me to grow. ❤️
"The problem with plans is that they exist as something separate, unrooted from any reality."
That's an interesting observation Josie. I think there are "plans" that are more like wishes that are truly disconnected from the facts on the ground. These plans lead inevitably to disappointment.
Good plans are based on data and work within our sphere of control (which can be larger or smaller than we imagine). I like some of the plans you describe in your essay. They sound wise.
I've come back to this again this morning. It was like a weather system blowing through me yesterday just after you published it. You've put flesh onto the bones of everything I've been wrestling with this week (these years) about surrender and acceptance, and what might come next. Thankyou for writing from such a place. We are brim full of courage. X
Ah Wendy, I am so glad this has landed at the right time for you. I am wishing you the clarity and confidence to take these new thoughts and to run with them. You can do it ❤️
Ah Josie, as always, you just nail it! We try to mould our lives into what we feel they should be, but rarely are, and pain especially, makes us crave solidity and certainty. I love that about holding plans loosely. Reminds me of the poem Clover Stroud read out in her last video post about going through life lightly. I so look forward to both your posts, they keep me sane!
I am a shapeshifting witch. I have held many shapes and identities and there are still more in my future. Thank you for the gift of your words and Samhain blessings to you x
So much resonance Josie. I found myself asking these exact same questions after resisting, fighting, trying to fix a neurological disorder for years. Finally, exhausted, i gave up and asked what it might be like to live unfixed. I could spend years talking to you about this process, the deep unraveling of everything we’ve been told about how to “live well.”
If you have fifteen minutes to fall into the stories of others living with chronic illness, you might want to watch this episode in particular in the Unfixed doc-series. Within the same vein of questioning as your What If, but they explore it within the binary choice of either being healthy but losing all the lessons gained from illness, or choosing the life they’re living now?
Thank you so much for the link, Kimberly! It is a challenging (and exciting!) thing to explore. I want to keep working with the idea of "how can I help my body to feel as good as possible" rather than "how can I fix myself." It feels like a much better compass but yes, it really does mean unravelling a lot of society's ideas around wellness and worth. I so appreciate you being here on this journey with me.
So happy to follow along. I also wrote you a DM a week or so ago about an ME/CFS : Long Covid project, thought you might be interested. And if not, totally fine! We’re in the process of building a community of individuals to create something beautiful together and your willingness to hold hands with both the light and the dark of chronic illness made me think this could be an interesting creative exploration for you.
Powerful writing, Josie. Your strength and resilience is so instructive to me, and many others. Thank you for your courage. Thank you for your vulnerability. Thank you for sharing this journey with me in a way that allows me to grow. ❤️
This is so kind. I feel enormously lucky to have you all with me as I stretch and explore and figure things out.
"The problem with plans is that they exist as something separate, unrooted from any reality."
That's an interesting observation Josie. I think there are "plans" that are more like wishes that are truly disconnected from the facts on the ground. These plans lead inevitably to disappointment.
Good plans are based on data and work within our sphere of control (which can be larger or smaller than we imagine). I like some of the plans you describe in your essay. They sound wise.
Something in this has nudged something for me, something I’ve been fighting with. Not fixed it, but let in a little, different light. Thank you xxx
I'm not sure 'fixes' are ever particularly reliable anyway - a nudge is all we need. On we go, my friend. Sending you so much love. x
I've come back to this again this morning. It was like a weather system blowing through me yesterday just after you published it. You've put flesh onto the bones of everything I've been wrestling with this week (these years) about surrender and acceptance, and what might come next. Thankyou for writing from such a place. We are brim full of courage. X
Ah Wendy, I am so glad this has landed at the right time for you. I am wishing you the clarity and confidence to take these new thoughts and to run with them. You can do it ❤️
Beautiful and wise, as always.
Ah Josie, as always, you just nail it! We try to mould our lives into what we feel they should be, but rarely are, and pain especially, makes us crave solidity and certainty. I love that about holding plans loosely. Reminds me of the poem Clover Stroud read out in her last video post about going through life lightly. I so look forward to both your posts, they keep me sane!
I love this! Thank you, new you
A wonderful powerful post, thank you for the invitation “what if I am?”
Thank you for this offering!
Thank you for sharing your profound wisdom. Inspiring.
So full of challenging wisdom and truth. Do I dare become myself? Thank you for daring.
Truly beautiful. Thank you for sharing this
This is the most beautiful piece I’ve read this year - thank you.
Chelsea thank you! What a lovely thing to read.
Beautiful, empowering, insightful. Thank you for sharing ✨
I am a shapeshifting witch. I have held many shapes and identities and there are still more in my future. Thank you for the gift of your words and Samhain blessings to you x
Yessss. There is such power in shapeshifting. May you find new ways to claim it!