What if... doing a little bit is the only way?

It turns out that the perfect antidote to the world's insanity is to have a body that doesn't work very well.

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Fan whirrs. Lime tree sways. Wheelie bins are dragged with a rumble like thunder onto the pavement, out of sight, while the heavy sky refuses to break. And here I am, behind the open window, head on pillow, frown on face.

I’ve just put down my phone.

Like all of the rest of you, I find myself living through a time when it feels as if the whole world is obsessed with doing things faster. Perhaps it’s long been so, but boy is the pace picking up now. There’s an overwhelming energy of no, no, that’s going to take too long. I don’t have the time. I don’t have the patience, the attention span, the energy. There must be an easier way. Give me a shortcut. This slow pace feels uncomfortable. No, I want it to look/feel/sound better than that. How do I make it feel good right away? Give me a system. Give me THE system. Are you sure that’s the best one? I think I’m going to try this other thing, it promises more. No, that’s no good either. Ooh, look at them, what they’re doing is getting them faster results. I know — I’ll copy that. God, this is still taking too long. I don’t like how this feels. Forget it. Is there a way for AI to do it? There is? Great. Ah, but still I don’t feel better. Let’s go again with something else. Faster this time. Better. Round and round and round and round.

I wish I could sit here, smugly declaring that I haven’t fallen for it — that I haven’t been similarly infected — but I have, of course. It might as well be in the water these days. It feels almost impossible to resist its effects entirely. I don’t think it’s just about AI; it’s about a whole ecosystem of ‘faster’ and ‘more’ of which AI is just a part, just an end-product. I am committed to not letting AI do things for me (I hate it, for a million reasons), but I’m still guilty of all the rest, believing, always, that better, happier, easier is only ever another click or scroll away.

Meanwhile, my unwell body grins back at me, uncomprehending, as I try to make it align with this insane way of living.